This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! Not Now. Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. Statut original, ‎المحمدية‎. I’d rather check my Facebook than face my checkbook. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. So I poked her. So enjoy your life with your friends! So when I see someone post something stupid I can like it, and it will say ‘Nobody Likes This’. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Alcohol! They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain. Saturday, September 22, 2012. As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. Turn around. Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. ... http://facebook-statuts.blogspot.com I see food, and I eat it. Forgot account? There is a lot of information online about this process, so take some time to investigate before you try the phishing method in order to hack facebook account online now. It was founded by Mark Zuckerberg with his college roommates and fellow Harvard University students Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes. Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. My ex-girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. I know what you’re doing right now… You’re reading on my wall, Right! All of this funny Facebook status and funny Facebook quotes has a variety of use. Ready made material is available here. I’m really scared, you guys. Community. I’m sorry that I’m not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Got a problem with me? Facebook is kind of like a prison. But I do have the biggest heart to love you with. I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. I was s*exually harassed at work by my boss. I love being married. I want to make my name on Facebook ‘Nobody’. Because no great story started with someone eating a salad. Statut original. Boys use Photoshop to show their creativity. If you can fake that, you’re in. Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors, and depression meet up for coffee. Travel the world until your Facebook’s check-ins finished! 103K likes. You always need a Facebook status that everyone will like. You can change ANYTHING, use emoticons and even upload your own profile photos for post and comments. Make your facebook page interesting every day with a best facebook status. His father ran a dentists out of the hou… Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. Ramener un peu de gaité. If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. Facebook is a good way to connect with your friends and family living at far off places. I’m self-employed. A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. First rule of Sundays: If you can’t reach it from your couch, you don’t need it. Les meilleurs statuts pour profil. You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status. May only be used for personal use. Search random posts or submit your own. The only reason why 30 guys liked your picture is that they can see right down your shirt. How to use status quo in a sentence. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. or. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. ‎Fuck عاالم‎ See more of Statut original on Facebook Our Facebook status messages help to appear interesting so, make your fb status different from the others. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil. Facebook is a social networking site that makes it easy for you to connect and share with family and friends online. Single is not a status. This generator is in no way associated with Facebook. Originally developed as Facebook Chat in 2008, the company revamped its messaging service in 2010, and subsequently released standalone iOS and Android apps in August 2011. I’m wondering why logging onto Facebook has become a part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do! I don’t have an iPad. Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children! If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”. Newman to this day calls Zuckerberg a “prodigy”. Create an account or log into Facebook. It’s okay if you don’t like me. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problem, but neither does milk. Prior to Facebook, Sheryl was vice president of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google, chief of staff for the United States Treasury Department under President Clinton, a management consultant with McKinsey & Company, and an economist with the World Bank. It’s spam. Sheryl Sandberg is chief operating officer at Facebook, overseeing the firm's business operations. If you send me a friend request on Facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you’re a transformer. The slogan will be: “Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls! You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you don’t know. I don’t have the prettiest face for you to see or the skinniest waist for you to hold. Here we keep adding the best facebook status ever and quotes. I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven’t pooped it out yet. Funny Barney Stinson Facebook Updates Statuses ... knows it's hot when when the geese in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy." My neighbors are listening to great music. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth. Can’t face me? ColorMag is magazine style responsive WordPress theme made for simplicity and ease of use. I made my Facebook name “Benefits,” so when you add me now it says “you’re friends with benefits.”. amusons-nous à partager le délire parce que NOUS, nous savons! Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you? I’m really good in bed. I mean, these days it’s easy to have 1,500 friends that you’ve never met before. Dernière mise à jour le 6 septembre 2019 à 10:08 par Jean-François Pillou. Community See All. I did the math. I’m going to invent a new pill called Niagra that stops erections. I’m keeping you there so you will be able to see how happy I am without you. Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. “Yep, gravity still works!”. Mark Zuckerberg took the first steps of his path at an early age. Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. Light travels faster than sound. I say, anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special like me to catch your heart. Can’t stand me? In its new-found spirit of transparency, Facebook is publishing its internal Community Guidelines and is introducing an appeals process for users … If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. 101K likes. Solve it. That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to “Single” and your ex likes it. I think I’m gonna take a hot shower. Find a funny Facebook status to use for yourself. Facebook is like the prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know. In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan. Quotes et statut algerian | See more about تصميمي, ﻋﺮﺑﻲ and كﻻم I’ve gone out to find myself. Les meilleurs statuts Facebook . Honesty is the key to a relationship. Cela implique que la personne doit penser, organiser les mots et donner l’apparence d’une structure qui exprime une idée ou une opinion. Funny status ideas. 244 likes. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. 514 likes. Sharing the sad feelings can reduce the burden of heart, share sad status on facebook to let your friends know that you are feeling sad. I’ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD (Obsessive Facebook Checking Disorder). The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. You can use them as funny DP caption, funny text, hilarious Facebook posts even as funny Facebook comments or Facebook story. Log into Facebook to start sharing and connecting with your friends, family, and people you know. If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done! I might as well call you Google because you have everything that I am looking for. About See All. Originally designed for college students, Facebook was created in 2004 by Mark Zuckerberg while he was enrolled at Harvard University. Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell? But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. ‎جميع اشياء‎ Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. Do not argue with an idiot. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. According to my mirror I am pregnant. 37 talking about this. Oh, you’re popular on Facebook? Think I’m tripping? It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. Accept who you are. I always take life with a grain of salt …plus a slice of lemon …and a shot of tequila. It didn’t take long for his skills to become apparent. Here we have compiled some of the best and humorous quotes as the new funny status that you will love to post on your Facebook profile. Statut pub original, Pinon, Picardie, France. See more of Statut Pub Original on Facebook. But I don’t really mind. Penser est difficile. The best funny status ideas and updates. When he was 11, his parents hired a software developer named David Newman to tutor him. The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. We all know you’re doing it for attention and we all know that you’ll be back! By these you can share your thinking with your friends. Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social network, not a diary. You can get the best status facebook to share it on your facebook profile. I won’t block you or delete you. 30 funny Facebook status updates 1) This student should get an extended deadline for their brutal honesty, and the teacher who posted the status should maybe shave his mustache. Perfectly choosing the status for Facebook is really important to make a bang on your Facebook profile. Within a couple of years, Zuckerberg created an incredibly practical programme: ZuckNet. Whenever you want to post a Facebook status for your profile picture, selfie captions, videos or making funny Facebook posts, make it sure to be creative to choose something interesting and clever or funny. Facebook Messenger could soon automatically tell your closest friends you’re at the gym, driving or in Tokyo. I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m going to open a new Facebook account named ‘Anonymous’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me! So enjoy your life with your friends! My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room. Create New Account. Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook. Log In. Adding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list. Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & Instagram. A user's Facebook status may be updated using the "Update Status" bar that appears at the top of the user's homepage and profile page. I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Facebook is asking, ‘What’s on your mind?’ but I think ‘Who’s on your mind?’ is a better question. Statut Pub - Original. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. STATUT PUB. Créer du contenu original (même aussi minime qu’un statut Facebook) est difficile. The lesson is, never try. Enjoy! Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning. I am on a seafood diet. Long time ago I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account. All graphical material is protected by the copyright owner. Apart from using funny Facebook status updates, you can also post clever ones. It is possible to communicate an important message without necessarily using too many words. Worst transformer ever. pratiquement tout les jours.Un petit "j'aime" en contribution merci :) Ready made material is available here. You’re born free, then you’re taxed to death. The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. Clearly understanding the importance of coding, Zuckerberg’s father Edward taught him Atari BASIC computer programming. Over the years, Facebook has released new apps on a variety of different operating systems, launched a dedicated website interface, and … je fait que des stutut pub et des avis de photo I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone. It’s a good way to connect with your friends. Facebook is a social networking service launched as TheFacebook on February 4, 2004. … Now read without the word dog. If you had to decide between a diet and a piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate? Funny Status Messages - Funny Tweets & Funny Captions, 100+ Caption For Friends - Touchy, Funny and Best Friend Captions, Funniest WhatsApp Status - Short & Funny Quotes for WhatsApp, 100 King Status and King Captions in English, Swag Bio for Instagram – Short, Classy & Trendy, One Word Caption – Best Single Word Captions, Birthday Captions for Yourself – Happy Birthday To Myself. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back. 15+ Different Unique Demos for any kind of magazine sites. I hate it when my body decides to get sick. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don’t have the film. Never challenge a guy to an arm-wrestling match who’s been single for more than 6 months. A Facebook status is a feature that allows users to post and share a small amount of content on their profile, on their friends' walls and in Facebook news feeds. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. Connect with friends, family and other people you know. Of course I have a talent. I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Kiss me and you will see how important I am. Please pray for me. Status quo definition is - the existing state of affairs. Tie my shoes. 747 people follow this. If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook. Also, you can use these funny Facebook statuses for your selfies, profile pictures and funny Caption for Facebook. Not everyone has good taste. That way you can successfully make a good copy of facebook that will look exactly alike the original. It’s time to be famous around your Facebook community as well give a reason to your friends and followers to have a good laugh by posting a hilarious facebook status. Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyone’s bathroom looks like! Sometimes I drink water – just to surprise my liver. Unless you’re a serial killer. It’s like a normal shower but with me in it. The father is Nutella. I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth. 3.1K likes. Delete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is really your friend. © 2019, fbstatuses123.com All Rights Reserved. Stay safe, eat cake. What can you do to promote world peace? Je vous propose de découvrir plus 50 statuts Facebook drôles et comiques qui vont faire délirer vos amis à coup sûr. The tenth is humming. The Collection of Funny Facebook Status Updates The world's greatest collection of Funny Facebook status updates. Come over to the dark side…we’ve got candy. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. Build your own fake Facebook Status and prank your friends. 12K likes. My relationship is like an iPad. Girls use Photoshop to look beautiful. If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don’t open it. Page Transparency See More. Facebook is showing information to help you better understand the purpose of a Page. Share photos and videos, send messages and get updates. Enjoy on this social platform with your friends living near or far. Avoir une opinion implique de penser à une position concernant la prémisse ou le concept. People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane until we invented smartphones and social media. Whether they like it or not. I’d really post your name here every minute if Facebook keeps on asking me what’s on my mind. Quick Replies are failing to render on Messenger & Instagram across all clients. 691 people like this. FaceBookStatus123 is the place to read best Facebook status messages. Commenting on best status quotes fills the day with fun. If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer…. Go home and love your family. ‎ليس كُل ﻣآ أكتبه حِكآيهٌ عَنْ وآقعيٌ إنمَآ هِيَ ( كلِمَآتٌ ) رآقَتٌ لِيً ♥ وقدَ ﯾـحتَآجھَآ غِيري‎ Clever Facebook status. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Statut family. Not everyone wants to see you happy. May You Need : Funny Jokes for Facebook Post. La page est mise à jours régulièrement ! The Poke option is okay, but when is Facebook going to come out with a Punch option? Si vous en avez marre des statuts chialeurs et tristes ! Sit back down. I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as them. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait. 9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I’m crazy. Copier-Coller les statuts facebook/tweets les plus originaux, droles et insolites ! Seems I died in 1543. If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me! A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Nerd flirting: I wish I could select all of your clothes and press delete.